Thoughts on habits.

 

I wanted to share my favorite song as of right now. I had a friend of mine show me this the other day and it has been on repeat. We all have habits we would either like to break or are in the process of breaking them. When you have a “habit” for a certain person, it can be extremely difficult to break.

In the past I’ve been in a relationship where you know that it would be better to be alone then be with that person but at the same point you just can’t say no to that person. It was a habit I developed at that time. Being in a toxic relationship can rip you into pieces and you often loose yourself while trying to stay with this person. Once I heard the lyrics to this song, I could immediately relate to it. Their has been that person where they made it so hard for me to let them go. They say all the right things, do all the right things, yet they just aren’t a good person overall. My friends could see this relationship from an outside perspective and saw how it was hurting me emotionally. When you are in that kind of relationship you don’t want to see the bad things about that person, you act blind to the horrible things they are saying/doing. This person I am referring too is completely out of my life for over a year now and at that time it was the hardest thing to let go of. Now I am in a better place because that person isn’t dragging me down. It took me a year to get myself back and I am still working on it to this day. Sometimes I feel that he just wanted to take everything I would give and run with it. Kind of like robbing a bank, the robber terrorizes the people at the bank to get what they want and just run away without thinking of the consequences. This person will never know how deeply they cut me with words and actions. I think the hardest thing I had to realize was that I was not going to get an apology from him for everything he put me through.

I had to accept an apology that I never received.

I had to let go.